I’ve always wanted to have a journal to keep, but I’ve never been any good at it. I’d always get those diaries with a lock pad when I was younger, but I only ever put about two entries tops. I’d often lose it in my messy bedroom and never really knew what to put in it. I think that having poor handwriting from the word go didn’t help. Back in primary school, my handwriting was a mess. Of course, when you first start learning to write at four or five, your handwriting isn’t going to be the neatest, but as the kids in my class’ penmanship became less scrawly and more readable, mine didn’t. Year after year, the only flaw in my school report would be “handwriting needs improvement”. Of course, I hated my handwriting, but I also hated using a pen. I could never find comfort in it and after about a page and a half of doing school work, my hand would cramp up.
My horrible handwriting problems followed me up to secondary school and though I could sort of make it a slight bit more readable than my primary schooldays, it was still pretty abysmal. Teachers continued to point out this issue and I was even enrolled in handwriting classes, meaning every Tuesday I’d have to spend my lunchtimes in a classroom trying to learn how to write properly. But you could have put me in that classroom every lunchtime for my entire school life, it still would have done no good. If I write really slow, I can now get it to look quite average, so I spend time writing birthday cards and the like, but if you want me to write at a good speed, I’m sorry, you’ll get a spider scrawl. When I left school and signed up to do a college course, the tutor watched me fill in the admission forms, turned to me and said “you’ve got a lot going on in your mind, haven’t you? Pretty creative and always thinking.” I nodded in awe at his psychic abilities, but it turns out he can just tell a lot from the way someone puts pen to paper.
I love writing. The idea of it, not actually physically writing with a pen. My mind is always wandering through different thoughts and my creativity definitely shines through in this form. So, when I began to use a computer at the age of maybe 7 or 8 at my dad’s house, I’d often pull up Microsoft Word and just let my fingers flow through the keyboard. I’d write stories, fake news pieces; whatever came to mind. My mother always said my mind runs faster than my hand on a piece of paper, so with my fingers able to keep up with the pace of what I’m thinking via keyboard, I’ve definitely found my home comforts when it comes to sharing my thoughts. I guess I have a knack for writing as in year 6, I won the award for best in English, where my teacher claimed I can write better than most adults. That compliment put a Cheshire Cat grin on my face for a good while.
My passion for writing grew more and more over the years and into secondary school and when I turned 15, I wound up writing for Wicid.tv – a youth website for my county. That was the beginning of my career, I guess. It wasn’t paid but I had some incredible opportunities and it’s where I found my passion for journalism. I’ve always been fascinated by pop culture so it didn’t take long for them to both join hand in hand. Opportunities came flowing in, ones that not many people where I live would even dream of getting and I did it all before I turned 18. Interviews with pop stars, actors and a few local people such as the mayor, some politicians and other people in Wales (the website is for young people, so we’d do more than just my preferable topics, which I still enjoyed as it experience). I also bagged a fair few freebies for review purposes, too. Concerts, events, even products. It was great fun.
Years flew by and one thing led to another and suddenly pop culture journalism has turned into my professional career path. But while I loved writing as a job, I felt that a lot of my writing wasn’t for fun anymore, which is why I started my blog, All That Jazmin. I’d tried blogging before but they were just updates on my life kind of posts and not very interesting, despite the incredibly intriguing things going on in my life. Blogging is a lot of fun because it’s all on my terms. I don’t have any assignments given to me and I don’t have any guidelines to follow other than my own. I love blogging to bits and I’d say it’s definitely become more of a proper lifestyle blog in the past few months. But then, sometimes, I get drought. A writer’s block, if you will. The thing about my blog is that I want it to look clean cut and I want it to be interesting for readers, so I’ve wound up cutting out the whole personal life updates as a whole unless it’s something worth sharing. I’m fine with that being my rule for that blog, but I also miss writing out the ramblings in my head that I used to do all those years ago. Writing things and not having to fit into a theme. Writing without a purpose. No arranging Search Engine Optimisations, no spending ages on making graphics or whatever for the page. Just writing, like I’m back on the computer at my dad’s house.
I have a lot of things going on in my mind 24/7 and sometimes I want to just write it down, which brings us to this new blog. It’s the journal I’ve always wanted but never really used because of the off put of handwriting and the pain I’d feel when writing out letter by letter. But why is it in the shape of a blog and not just a series of Word documents? Well, for starters, I don’t fancy keeping a ton of files on my laptop and the odds of me going through my computer to find them to read again are very small. A website, however, allows me to find previous journal entries at more ease and, it’s not a private diary, so if there’s a topic I want to write about or thoughts I decide to share, I can allow other people to read it.
The point of this blog isn’t to get people to read it – I’d be just as satisfied if 100 people read it as I would be if no one read it. It’s just there. I’m not asking you to read it, but I’m not asking you not to read it, either. Maybe some posts will be of use or interest or helpful to some people, which would be nice if a person benefitted from my ramblings, but in all honesty, the only reader I can realistically see coming to this journal is future me. Maybe I’ll re-read posts in a few months or years and I’m pretty certain future me will have a lot of critiques on the entire thing, just like current me has on my old blogs that I don’t use anymore.
This is my journal and it’s finally a place where I can continue my passion for writing but with no terms or conditions, no expectations. I can finally be the 7-year-old at the old big computer again and rambling once more. But maybe making more sense than I did all those years ago.