I’ve always wanted to have a journal to keep, but I’ve never been any good at it. I’d always get those diaries with a lock pad when I was younger, but I only ever put about two entries tops. I’d often lose it in my messy bedroom and never really knew what to put in it. I think that having poor handwriting from the word go didn’t help. Back in primary school, my handwriting was a mess. Of course, when you first start learning to write at four or five, your handwriting isn’t going to be the neatest, but as the kids in my class’ penmanship became less scrawly and more readable, mine didn’t. Year after year, the only flaw in my school report would be “handwriting needs improvement”. Of course, I hated my handwriting, but I also hated using a pen. I could never find comfort in it and after about a page and a half of doing school work, my hand would cramp up.
My horrible handwriting problems followed me up to secondary school and though I could sort of make it a slight bit more readable than my primary schooldays, it was still pretty abysmal. Teachers continued to point out this issue and I was even enrolled in handwriting classes, meaning every Tuesday I’d have to spend my lunchtimes in a classroom trying to learn how to write properly. But you could have put me in that classroom every lunchtime for my entire school life, it still would have done no good. If I write really slow, I can now get it to look quite average, so I spend time writing birthday cards and the like, but if you want me to write at a good speed, I’m sorry, you’ll get a spider scrawl. When I left school and signed up to do a college course, the tutor watched me fill in the admission forms, turned to me and said “you’ve got a lot going on in your mind, haven’t you? Pretty creative and always thinking.” I nodded in awe at his psychic abilities, but it turns out he can just tell a lot from the way someone puts pen to paper.